Latest Trailer Revision is Starting to Feel Like a Trailer

Here’s a link to the latest trailer revision — which now is beginning to feel like a trailer although it’s still quite a bit too long to be a theatrical trailer.  This is more in the line of a buyer promo reel — 3 minutes plus (as opposed to 90 seconds to two minutes for a theatrical trailer) and tells more of the story.  As a buyer promo reel, this is almost there ….


And by the way, here are my notes on the latest version, which I sent along to Mark Linthicum who is doing the revisions with me:

00:15 — Let’s consider a shot (could be the CU we used before but lost in favor of the wider shot that’s in there now)  of Kita watching between the shot of her grabbing the flat and the shot of her surfacing.  So — now it goes:  1) flag grab, 2) break surface, 3) kita ….. If we make this change,  it would be 1) flag grab, 2) kita watching in CU 3) alyssa breaks surface, 4) kita in LS. Or another alternative would be 1) flag grab, 2) dolphin shot u/w, 3) alyssa breaks surface, 4) Kita….. The thing is — I’d like to be able to do whatever fix we do without changing the length of the sequence so we could avoid any complicated sound fixes.

00:30 — “You went diving again” (flash) ” How deep?”…… I just wonder if we should look at a cut to Alyssa in CU where the flash is….. i.e. 1) You went diving again 2) Alyssa CU, 3) How deep, 4) We’re going to the fish fry.  This would add maybe 3/4 second to the total sequence but we could borrow from the dolphin u/w shot that precedes Hawk’s entrance to make up for it.  Not sure this will all work, but it’s worth a try at some point.

01:00 ff … I think the two “dumbstruck” reactions form Alyssa are one too many…..I’m not sure how to fix it …. but I think another whack at this section might yield fruit.  One thought is to try a different approach — maybe like this:  1) CU of Alyssa with Craig VO:  “I saw you on the water today) 2) On Craig: “I was on the jet ski”.  3) Alyssa: Jet ski…I don’t remember …4) Kita with Alyssa VO: …”any jetski” 5) Reaction shot of Duvey laughing 6) Hi…I’m Craig…..7) Alyssa dumbstruck…..

02:27 … there are two shots, very similar, of the Navy Patrol boat.  the first is at 2:27 and the second is at 2:41….its feels too repetitive…..I think we keep one shot and lose the other…..I think keep the first, lose the second — if the notes that follow this one work out (see below)

02:30 …  It bothers me a little that we show things getting fucked up for Craig and then we go to Gwen saying “if anything goes wrong now, it’s your ass”……feels to me like we should advance the Gwen/Craig scene so that it comes before the moment when things start going wrong……..what if we tried it like this:  they’re on the boat, Craig asks about restricted waters, Hawk says  “you would be right”….what if, just after this line, we cut to  Gwen/Craig:  “If anything goes wrong now…..court martials”……then we go to “the computers were on the night Rasca was taken…Craig here is in the navy ….you lied to me”….then from “you lied to me”….we skip the second shot of the Navy boat and go directly to the shot of Alyssa u/w, limp body….  I’m not sure this restructure would work…

02:35…”What do you mean, you lied to me?”   Why don’t we reframe this so it’s a clean single of Alyssa — no David  in thecorner.

02:47 … “Just need you to stick around for alittle whille”…this VO line feels out of place wher eit is.  It actually should preceed “if anything goes wrong, it’s your ass”  — if we need to use it at all.  I’m conscious of the fact that you might have felt we needed something … some line over the sequence of shots of Alyssa drowning….

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